i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
