But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
