I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
