I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
