what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We are all done wearing pants today
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
