I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
