Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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