What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
