someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Congratulations! We have a period
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
