It's Friday. Sex?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
