Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
