I hate all girls vehemently.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
