Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
