all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
