Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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