How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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