just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
