I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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