i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
