We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
