Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
