Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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