You work out of a Hotel?
id be glad to
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
