trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
