I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
