ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
