Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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