I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
