girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
