You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish you could order shots online.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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