I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
