I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
