My pussy is not your playground.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
