Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
