Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
