There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
