we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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