Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
