Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
