that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
