Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
