The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
