Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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