This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
