I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
