I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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