I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
