I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
