I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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