im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
