i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
