So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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