Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
