that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
