Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
