I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
